I don't really know where to start this letter, because when I think about how everything started, it honestly feels a little funny.

I still remember joining the Discord server and the first thing I noticed was someone talking to me. It was you — Bibimbap. 😭

And honestly, I remember thinking, what kind of name is Bibimbap? 😂
I'd never heard someone use that as a name before.

Then, out of curiosity, I checked your YouTube channel and saw that clutch you pulled off in customs. And damn… you were actually really good. So I called you a pro player, and instead of taking the compliment normally, you sent me that "dawg just take it easy!!" GIF. 😭

And somehow, from something that small, everything just started.

Much later, when you finally joined VC, I got to play customs with you for the first time. I was on your team and you were telling me, "Asta avre please mathadi, or else I might get bored." 😂

I still remember that.

Your voice was so different from what I expected too. Sometimes you sound so calm and almost melancholic, and other times you're ridiculously energetic. And then there are those moments when the game isn't going your way and you get frustrated. 😭

But somewhere between all those moods, conversations, games and VCs, I started realizing that I really liked having you around.

I still remember that one time you told everyone to wait until I joined.

It might have been a small thing to you, but moments like that stay with me.

And there are so many little things about you that I don't think you realize I notice.

The way you speak so sweetly sometimes.

The way you'll actually sing when I randomly ask you to.

The way you turn your camera on when I ask.

And your smile.

I genuinely don't think I've ever gotten tired of seeing it.

And then there's that thing you do with your hair. 😭

Every time you fix your hair, I have the exact same stupid thought I've told you way too many times already — that I just want to grab you, put you on a table and annoy you about it. 😂

And then you giggle.

And somehow that makes it even worse.

There are so many tiny moments like that which probably don't mean much when they're happening, but when I look back at everything, those are the moments I remember the most.

Even the completely ridiculous ones.

Like the whole "laying eggs?" incident. 😭

Or when I call you dumbo.

Or when I just go "Disha… Disha…" and you give me those cute little responses.

They're stupid little things.

But they're our stupid little things.

And I think that's what makes them special.

There's also something about you that I don't know if you notice yourself.

Sometimes I feel like you get so caught up in everything you're doing — especially when you're playing or streaming — that you forget about yourself in the process.

And underneath everything, I think you have a really innocent, childlike heart.

You're kind.

You're caring.

And yes… sometimes when you're angry, trying to calm you down is definitely not an easy task. 😂

But that's also just part of you.

And if there's one thing I've wanted to tell you more seriously, it's this:

Please take care of yourself too.

Get some sleep.

Don't push yourself too hard with late-night streaming.

You don't always have to keep going just because you can.

Your health, your peace and your happiness matter too.

And I hope you never forget that.

I also hope that whenever life gets difficult, you remember to stay strong, take responsibility for your actions, and keep that kindness in you.

Don't let what other people say about your personality, your appearance, or anything else make you forget who you are.

You don't have to become someone else just because somebody has an opinion about you.

Stay kind. Stay accountable. Stay you.

I don't know exactly what the future is going to look like.

We're both busy with our own things now. You're busy with streaming, I'm trying to finish my studies and find a good job, and sometimes I wish we simply had a little more time for each other.

But I hope that somewhere along the way, we get more of those ordinary days together.

More random conversations.

More VCs.

More games.

More laughing at absolutely stupid things.

More moments that don't seem important at the time, but somehow become memories later.

And more time with you.

Most of all, I just want you to be happy.

Not because everyone around you approves of you.

Not because everything is going perfectly.

Just because you deserve to be happy.

And if I actually had only thirty seconds with you on your birthday, I probably wouldn't know what to say anyway. 😂

I'd wish you a happy birthday.

I'd give you one of those long hugs I've probably thought about way too many times.

Then I'd probably just let go, look at you and smile.

Because sometimes there are things you can't really explain properly with words.

And maybe that's what this whole little universe I made for you is.

A bunch of memories, stupid jokes, tiny moments, things I've noticed, and everything I couldn't fit into a normal conversation.

I just wanted you to have something you could come back to someday and remember:

There was someone who noticed all those little things about you.

Someone who remembered your smile.

Your voice.

Your little giggles.

Your chaos.

Your Panda energy.

Your stubborn moments.

Your kindness.

And all those completely ordinary moments that somehow became special.

So yeah…

Happy Birthday, Disha. ❤️

I hope this year is kind to you.

I hope you take care of yourself.

I hope you keep that beautiful heart of yours.

And I hope we get to make a lot more memories together.